Back in the late 70s, early 80s I attended a Careertrack seminar. I don’t remember the name of the seminar. I don’t really remember the exact topic, but one story the presenter shared stuck with me all these years.

The presenter, (we’ll call her Sue) traveled across the US doing seminars. Because of a hectic travel schedule, Sue spent a lot of time in airports people watching. One day, she noticed a woman in an absolutely beautiful white suit. It fit her to perfection and had delicate, intricate embroidery adorning the jacket. The woman was breathtaking and caught quite a few eyes as she navigated the airport terminal. Sue approached her and complimented her exquisite raiment. She went on and on about the fit and the gorgeous detailing. The woman thanked her and shared she had made the suit herself AND done all the embroidery work. This blew Sue away. Not only was the suit (and the woman) stunning; the woman created it. Then, the woman did something equally stunning to Sue. She started pointing out the flaws in her own work. “I appreciate the compliment, but I never took time to line it properly. <opening her jacket to demonstrate> Look at how ragged the seams are. I should have finished them better. And really, if you look, I probably should have trimmed up the ends of the embroidery threads a little closer. It shouldn’t look this rough on the inside. I should have lined it.”  WHAT???? In about two seconds, this impeccably-dressed woman took a well-intended, sincere compliment and used it as an opportunity to point out the “flaws”, degrading herself and her talent in the process.

Sue used this example to show how we (especially woman) find it difficult to accept a compliment. Rather than say “Thank you.” or “Thank you. I always feel good when I wear this suit.” we find a way to negate our own wonderfulness. Sue challenged us that day to start graciously accepting and enhancing compliments. At the very least she wanted us to learn how to say “thank you” … and then shut up. She wanted us to stop diminishing ourselves with reasons why a compliment couldn’t possibly be valid. It’s not only insulting to the giver. It’s insulting to you too.

I use this same idea to help clients understand it’s OK to answer interview questions without offering every shred of detail about a circumstance. For example, I worked with a talented and skilled nurse a while back. During the information gathering part of the resume process, she told me about a previous job she’d lost because of family crisis. Without prompting, she told me her son’s former girlfriend (and guardian to their two children) had been arrested. Her son was out of town and everyone was unsure of the arrangements made for the children. She had no choice but to miss work, locate the children and ensure their safety. She lost her job because of it.

I was taken aback. I’d not asked for an explanation and didn’t need to know that level of detail. “Past family crisis” and “it’s now under completely under control” was all I or anyone else needed to know. Recognizing how freely she shared this information with me, I had to ask if she ever shared this story during interviews. You guessed it. Her response was “Of course. It’s the truth. My past employer was wrong and I want a potential employer to know it wasn’t my fault.” (From a hiring standpoint, do you see a few red flags here?)

Sadly, even with impressive credentials, leadership capabilities and vast medical knowledge, potential employers had little interest in her after an initial interview. When I asked if she saw a possible connection between that story and no job offer, she didn’t see it. In her mind, she was being honest. She didn’t see how an employer may see her unnecessarily-shared past baggage as overriding her expertise. In essence, she took a “beautifully-embroidered, perfectly-fitted white suit” and showed the “lack of lining and embroidery knots” with the details behind the termination. She diminished her expertise and, I’m sure, talked herself out of countless positions. (We worked out a less telling way to share that piece of her employment history.)

I’m not proposing making up things or lying during interviews, but an interview isn’t the time to show your lack of lining. You don’t have to bare your soul and share your most intimate secrets and questionable personal information. Take time to prepare and rehearse a positive response to “sketchy” portions of your work history.  (And if you’ve worked long enough, you’re sure to have had a bump in the road somewhere along the line.) An interview is the time to put your best foot forward and dazzle a hiring authority with your expertise. Find a way to answer questions while painting yourself in the best possible light. Show off your perfect fit and exquisite detail … and then shut up.

PS – See the power and impact of a good story when used to demonstrate a point (or a skill). This one stuck with me for almost 30 years. Stories sell. Stories are memorable. Perfect yours.

After reading my colleague’s, Jennifer Anthony, recent blog post, Targeted Resumes: How to Target Your Resume to the Job You Want, it got me thinking. As resume writers, we tell our clients, you’ve got to focus your job search. You’ve got to have a target. You’ve got to know your audience. However, with all this talk about focus, seldom do I see anything written about an important tool to help with that decision-making process – The Information Interview.

I frequently get calls from clients who want to start a career after completing degree studies or are ready for a change after reaching advanced degree goals. A common thread running through these conversations is an “I know what I don’t want to do. But, I’m not exactly sure what I do want.” statement. Knowing what you don’t want to do is a good start, but you’ve got to have some idea about what you want before your start down that job search path.

In comes good old-fashioned Information Interviewing. What’s an Information Interview you say? Well, here, cut and pasted from a handout I have on the topic is more information:

What it is:

1. A method for conducting an organized, focused and productive job search. It also helps assist in career change/career choice decisions.
2. A means of gathering information at any stage of your work life (paid or volunteer).
3. A method of matching your interests and skills to the realities of the job market.
4. A means of establishing a network of useful contacts in your career field or interest area.

Why do it:

1. To investigate career fields, career issues or interest areas:
   1. What are the overall prospects for a career filed? Is it overloaded or expanding?
   2. What are the main issues, the problems and needs of a career field?
   3. What does it mean to work or be involved in a career field? On a day-to-day basis?
   4. Given my particular background, where would I fit? What types of jobs are available? Is additional training necessary?
2. To research a particular organization or a specific jobs within the organization:
   1. What is the organization structure? Where might my skills and interest fit into that structure?
   2. What are the hiring procedures?
   3. What jobs are currently open right now? Are there planned openings in the next three, six, nine, etc., months? Are there opportunities for new positions?

So, if you’re unsure what you want to be when you grow up, or what you want to do for the next five minutes for that matter, network with people doing the job you think you want to do. Offer to buy them coffee or lunch and ask for the privilege of picking their brain for an hour about the nuts and bolts of their chosen profession. Come with prepared questions, respect their time, don’t turn it into a “help me find a job” conversation and you’ll be amazed at the info you’ll garner.

During an information interview, keep your focus on the task at hand – you’re there to respectfully research an industry or a profession, not sell your talents. This professional is giving you an hour of his or her knowledge, soak it up like a sponge and don’t waste valuable time pitching your talents. You’re here to learn how your talents fit into this particular job. Once you’ve identified and know something about you target audience, the selling can begin.

If you’d like more information on Information Interviewing – including basic questions to ask and more details about the process, I’ve got three handouts on the topic, available for the asking. Send an email to me at dawnbugni@thewritesolution.info with “Information Interviewing” in the subject line. Include your full name and contact info and I’ll gladly email the files right out to you – no charge – as a thank-you for taking a moment to read my blog.

]]> http://write-solution.com/2009/01/12/target-focus-audience-i-don%e2%80%99t-even-know-what-i-want-to-do-yet/feed/ 0