Career Collective post: Once a month, a group of career professionals blog on a subject topical and timely for a job seeker. We’ll post our thoughts on our own blog and link to the post of our colleagues on the same topic.

This month’s topic: How are you fooling yourself about your career/job search? What can you do about it? “How to avoid being tricked by common job search blunders?” Responses from others contributors linked at the end. Follow the hashtag #CareerCollective on Twitter.

Imagine my surprise the other day when I received an eletter from an organization chastising the subscriber base. Here’s what it said: “After three days less than a third of you even opened the last newsletter…you voluntarily signed on ….” <italics theirs> In essence the sender thought it OK to impose their schedule on the readership and publicly lamented the fact everyone didn’t drop everything and read what this organization had to say immediately.

I sat there in stunned silence. I read it again. Surely I was reading it wrong. No. There it was. Someone was “yelling” at me for not reading what they wrote on THEIR schedule. Someone, knowing nothing about anyone’s schedule or email volume, deemed three days an adequate amount of time to open this document. And were so convicted in that belief, they thought it OK to chastise the entire readership for not adhering to their arbitrary schedule. Really? I signed up for this eletter more than three years ago and suddenly, by virtue of that sign up, they get to tell me what to do??? About 10 minutes later, as I was digesting this craziness, I received an email from a friend who was on the same mailing list, with a note saying, “Seriously? I’m being lectured?” She unsubscribed. I didn’t … yet.

So what does this have to do with being foolish in a job search? Let’s change up the players a bit. The organization is the job seeker, the eletter their resume. I’m the hiring authority.

I personally get more than 100 emails a day (and that’s a minimal volume compared to most HR professionals.) I run a business. My priority is client and colleague correspondence. I read all the other “stuff” when I can. Sometimes it takes a day or so to plow through everything. Sometimes, I look at content through the Outlook preview box. If the information doesn’t grab my attention or convey value to me in 10-15 seconds (sound familiar???), I hit the delete button and move on to the next email without ever opening the email.

Now, imagine I’m a busy HR professional or hiring authority with a full plate – a notice insurance costs are rising yet again, an overflowing inbox, budgets are due, an argument is brewing between staff members, a toilet backed up in the employee bathroom AND 300 resumes to review for an opening in engineering … and that’s a slow day. Rather than get a document that understands my pain and brings a solution to ease that pain, I get a cover letter with “I, me or my” mentioned 21 times in two paragraphs – basically a mini-opera all about me-me-me – accompanied by a me-centered resume, starting out with: “Seeking a position where I can grow personally and professionally while helping the company grow.” My HR world is imploding (as it frequently does) and a person I don’t even know, haven’t even engaged on any level is telling me what they want. I know nothing of them and their introduction is “gimme”. Sounds sort of like that organization deciding I “should” have opened the email already with absolutely no regard to my own personal circumstance or pain.*

I tell my clients (potential clients, strangers while out shopping – it’s happened … anyone who will listen); a job search is not all about you. (WHAT?? It’s not all about me?) I go on to explain, the beginning of the search is yours – you get to decide (or circumstances do) it’s time to launch a job search. The end of the search is yours – you get to decide which offer you accept. BUT, for all points in between, every word out of your mouth, every email, every voice mail, every conversation with every person even remotely affiliated with the target organization had better deliver, repeatedly, a “this is what I bring to your organization, this is what I can do for you, this is how I can make your life easier” message or you’re destined for the delete button. In this job market, with 6.3 individuals for every open position in the US today, you’ve got to sell your value, not pound your chest, stomp your feet and scream “I want.”

Don’t be an April Fool … or even a May, June or July fool. Convey your value. Think about your audience and don’t impose your agenda on others. Remember, in addressing their needs, your agenda is handled too.

*(BTW – I was one of the 33% that had opened the email, read it and forwarded the info along to a few others who might find it interesting BEFORE they yelled. Know what? Most likely, I won’t do that again. I won’t risk my friends and associates being yelled at for not jumping through imaginary hoops ever again. Do you think the harried HR manager will save or pass along your information to a colleague? Hmmm. The unsubscribe / delete button looms … )

Here’s what my colleagues have to say:

Walter Akana @walterakana Same as it ever was

Jacqui Barrett-Poindexter @ValueIntoWords Mirror ‘their’ needs, not ‘your’ wants in #Jobsearch

Laurie Berenson @LaurieBerenson Don’t get tricked by these job search blunders

Chandlee Bryan @chandlee Don’t Kid Yourself! (The Person You See in the Mirror is a Good Hire)

Martin Buckland @MartinBuckland @EliteResumes April Fool’s Day — Who’s fooling who?

Katharine Hansen @Kat_Hansen Don’t be fooled: Avoid these 10 job search blunders

Gayle Howard @GayleHoward If It’s Not You and It’s Not True, You’re Fooling Yourself

Heather Huhman @heatherhuhman 9 Ways You Might Be Fooling Yourself About Your Job Search

Rosalind Joffe @WorkWithIllness Trying hard to be nobody’s fool

Susan Joyce @jobhuntorg Avoiding Most Common Blunders

Erin Kennedy @erinkennedyCPRW Stop Fooling Yourself about your Job Hunt: Things you may be doing to sabotage yourself

J T O’Donnell @careerealism 10 Ways to tell if your job search is a joke

Meg Montford @KCCareerCoach Is Your #Career in Recovery or Retreat? (All Joking Aside)

Hannah Morgan @careersherpa Job Search is no joking matter

Barbara Safani @barbarasafani Job seekers: Are you fooling yourself if …

Miriam Salpeter @keppie_careers Are you fooling yourself? Bored at work? Is it your own fault?

Rosa Vargas @resumeservice Hey, Job Seeker — Don’t Be a Fool!

Career Collective post: Once a month, a group of career professionals blog on a subject topical and timely for a job seeker. We’ll post our thoughts on our own blog and link to the post of our colleagues on the same topic.

This month’s topic: What do you do when you’re really, really, really discouraged about your unsuccessful job search? How do you overcome the negative aspects of job search? Responses from others contributors linked at the end. Follow the hashtag #CareerCollective on Twitter.

Discouraged is a difficult place to live. We all visit occasionally, but wallowing in a cesspool of negativity doesn’t solve anything. And yes. I realize that leaving “discouraged” is a lot easier said than done. This in no way is meant to diminish personal circumstance, but I do know it’s much more difficult to sell your skill set when you’ve lost confidence in you and it’s difficult to have confidence in you when you can’t sell your skill set. Add to that, it’s not easy to network when your confidence level doesn’t register at all. It’s a vicious cycle. And only you can break out of it. So how do you do it? I’m not 100% sure either, but I’ll tell you what works for me.

As I’ve said in tweets and past posts, attitude plays an important role in a job search and career management. Don’t get me wrong. I’ll be the first one to endorse a “pity-party”, but you can’t carry that woe-is-me mentality everywhere you go. Acknowledge the pain, for a moment, but eventually, perspective has to change. In addition to making internal adjustments, be sure to engage your network to support the changes. Accountability and camaraderie are important on any journey.

For a long time on Twitter, I started the day with a daily gratitude. (#dailygratitude) No matter how I woke up feeling, I sat and thought about something for which I was grateful. One morning, it was the vacuum cleaner and its ability to tame dust bunnies. Now how can I have a bad day when I start it out with the word “bunnies”? (See, it even made you smile just then.) One smile leads to another and eventually I’ll forget what made me grumpy. Or in relaxing for a moment find the remedy for the point of consternation. (Hmmm. Might be time to revive that practice.) Even if you don’t tweet your gratitude for things, big and small, at least take a moment to find a flash of wonderful in the midst of the insanity. I’ve also found, when you notice one good thing, two or three other good things show up, eager for attention too. Before you know it, you’ll find a respite from despair and perhaps stumble on the motivation needed to move out of discouraged. It’s not easy being crabby with a smile on the outside. It eventually seeps inside.

This past month, I’ve been walking most mornings with my neighbor Brenda. We walk a loop through an open field, near the Black River and up and down the dirt road. We go for about a half-hour and Brenda sets a heck of a pace. As pleasant and bucolic this setting is, some days, we don’t feel like walking. We usually go anyway (yea us!) but change our route a bit. We’ll go in the opposite direction, add a new landmark or take a different path home. One morning, after changing the direction of our walk, we both remarked it seemed much easier coming at it from a different direction. And so it goes with a job search or career management. If the approach you’re using is daunting, then change it. There is more than one means to an end. Explore them until you find what works for you.

What doesn’t work is curling into a fetal position wondering why me? Believe me. I’ve been there. Even I couldn’t stand being around me for very long. I had to make changes. It wasn’t easy. And I didn’t make all the required changes all at once. I did little thing like changing my internal sentences, (would I talk to my best friend the way I talk to me???). That changed my perspective. A new perspective attracted different opportunities and so it goes. Look long enough, you’ll find good and bad in most everything. Small changes lead to big things and one foot in front of the other will take you anywhere. It’s OK to visit discouraged. With a dependable network and an escape plan, you won’t hang out too long. It’s up to you.

Here’s what my colleagues have to say:

Walter Akana @walterakana Light at the End of the Tunnel

Jacqui Barrett-Poindexter @ValueIntoWords Restoring Your Joy in Job Search

Laurie Berenson @LaurieBerenson 3 Ways to Keep Your Glass Half Full

Chandlee Bryan @chandlee Strategy for Getting “Unstuck” and Feeling Better. Watch Lemonade

Martin Buckland @MartinBuckland @EliteResumes Job Search Made Positive

Megan Fitzgerald @expatcoachmegan  Dealing With Job Search Stress: Getting to the Source of the Problem

Katharine Hansen, PhD @KatCareerGal Job-Hunting in a Weak Job Market: 5 Strategies for Staying Upbeat (and Improving Your Chances of Success)

G L Hoffman @GLHoffman How to Overcome the Negativity of a Job Search

Gayle Howard @GayleHoward Job Search: When it all turns sour

Heather Huhman @heatherhuhman 10 Ways to Turn Your Job Search Frown Upside-Down

Rosalind Joffe @WorkWithIllness Finding Opportunity in Quicksand

Susan Joyce @jobhuntorg Just SO VERY Discouraged…

Hannah Morgan @careersherpa Mind Over Matter: Moving Your Stalled Search Forward

Erin Kennedy @ErinKennedyCPRW Dancing in the Rain–Kicking the Job Search Blues

Heather Mundell @heathermundell Help for the Job Search Blues

Meg Montford @KCCareerCoach You Can Beat the Job Search Blues: 5 + 3 Tips to Get Re-energized

Barbara Safani @barbarasafani Making Job Search Fun (Yeah, That’s Right!)

Miriam Salpeter @Keppie_Careers What to do when you are discouraged with your job search

Rosa Vargas @resumeservice Don’t Sweat The Job Search

Career Collective post: Once a month, a group of career professionals blog on a subject topical and timely for a job seeker. We’ll post our thoughts on our own blog and link to the post of our colleagues on the same topic.
This month’s topic: What advice do you have to help jobseekers transition and make the most of the new year?  Responses from others contributors linked at the end.
Follow the hashtag #careercollective on Twitter.

It seems to be my week to challenge verbal roadblocks. In my last post it was the word “just”. This post, I’m going after “ya, but”.

I spend a good deal of time on the phone speaking with potential clients. During those conversations, I generally offer a bit of guidance to help the caller, whether they use my services or not. Sometimes they get it. Sometimes, they “ya, but…” themselves right out of an opportunity for greatness. In line with this month’s Career Collective topic, the best guidance I can give to anyone – job seeker or not – (in addition to taking “just” out of your vocabulary), is lose the term, “ya, but” altogether. No matter what tools you use or what resources you have at your finger tips, if your internal sentences contain “ya, but” when it’s time to make a change or face a new challenge, you’re destined for failure, or at least a more difficult path than necessary.

Here’s a sampling of what I say to job seekers (based in the reality of the 2010 job market) and what I hear in response regularly.

You really need basic computer skills to compete in today’s market.
Ya, but …
I never really needed to know how to use a computer in my last job.
I don’t have time to go to school.
I’ve tried. I just don’t get it.

More than 70% of jobs are filled through effective networking.
Ya, but …
I didn’t take the time to schmooze at my old job. It’s creepy.
I just moved here and don’t know anyone.
I don’t even know how to get in touch with old coworkers.
It’ll freak people out if I ask them for a job.
I’m not comfortable asking for help.
I don’t know about any networking opportunities in my town.
My car’s too unreliable to go anywhere but to work and back.

A good number of employers will Google your name or conduct an Internet search as part of the vetting process. They’ll also check social media sites.
Ya, but …
Google is evil and the developers too are powerful. It scares me. (Seriously, I’ve heard this.)
I don’t do anything on the Internet. People don’t need to know my business

Using social media is a good way to build an Internet presence and build a strong reputation in your chosen profession.
Ya, but …
What’s LinkedIn?
I don’t have time to read a bunch of blogs and comment.
Twitter is a waste of time.

Setting up Google alerts is a good way to see when you’re mentioned on the Internet and what others will find when they search for you.
Ya, but …
I don’t know how to do that. I’m not that technical.
(Also, see responses to two previous statements …)

Posting your resume on a job board is not the way to conduct a search.
Ya, but …
I don’t know any other way.
I got contacted by a few people right after I posted, so it must be working.

You can’t sound desperate in during an interview.
Ya, but …
I am desperate. Unemployment runs out in two weeks. I should have started looking earlier.
I’ve got to find a find new job. My boss is driving me crazy. I can’t help it if that shows.
I’m still so upset by what happened; I just can’t get past it.

An employer won’t take time to extrapolate information from a resume. You’ve got to tell them what you bring, boldly, proudly.
Ya, but …
It’s obvious what I do. Anyone who knows about this business would get it.
It’s too difficult to explain what I do. They should be able to tell by my list of previous employers how good I am.
I’ve won awards. That should be enough.
I’m not comfortable talking about myself.

I could go on … but won’t. Do you see a common theme? Excuses, excuses excuses and not a lot of meat to any of them. In fact, as you were reading, you were probably coming up with solutions to each and every one of them. Bottom line: anything worth having takes effort. However, if the first response out of your mouth when offered a suggestion to help get your from Point A to Point B is “Ya, but …”, then most likely, Point B will never become a reality or at the very least, you’ll work twice as hard getting there.

Move the roadblocks and watch your course get easier. Oh, and don’t even start me on “can’t”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PS – Lest you think I’m preaching from a holier-than-thou place, I’ll give you one of my own. Rest assured I struggle with the “ya, but …” monster as much as you.

This is mine: Sound familiar?
I know to lose weight and be healthy I have to work exercise into my daily routine.
Ya, but …
I stay so busy; I don’t know how I’ll do it.

Know what I did to get rid of my own roadblock? I called my neighbor, announced it was time we both got up off our … buts (butts) and started walking again. And that’s what we’ve done … two seven days in a row now. Yea us.

Here’s what my colleagues have to say:

Walter Akana @walterakana Starting anew – Tips for truly managing your career

Jacqui Barrett-Poindexter @ValueIntoWords Is your job search strategy a snore?

Chandlee Bryan @Chandlee Starfish, JobAngels, and Making a Difference

Martin Buckland @MartinBuckland, @EliteResumes Career Trends and Transition 2010

Katharine Hansen PhD @kat_hansen New Year: Time to Assess Yourself and Your Career

G L Hoffman @GLHoffman A Flash of the Blindingly Obvious

Gayle Howard @GayleHoward How are those New Year’s resolutions panning out anyway?

Heather Huhman @heatherhuhman Job seekers: 5 tips for making the most of 2010

Erin Kennedy @ErinKennedyCPRW Advice to Job Seekers in 2010–learn Yoga?

Rosalind Joffe @WorkWithIllness Dogs Can Do It, Can You?

Susan Joyce @JobHuntOrg Lifelong Learning for Career Security

Meg Montford @KCCareerCoach The Art of Being Gracious: Much Needed in Today’s Job Search

Hannah Morgan @careersherpa The Year of the Tiger

Heather Mundell @heathermundell Kaizen and the Art of Your Job Search

Barbara Safani @barbara safani Looking Into the 2010 Careers Crystal Ball

Miriam Salpeter @keppie_careers Help for job seekers in a rut

Andy Robinson @AndyInNaples What are you getting better at? Make This the Year You Become the Best You Can Be.

Rosa Vargas @resumeservice The Resume and Your Social Media Job Search Campaign

Debra Wheatman @DebraWheatman Making the most of a new year

“It’s not who we are that holds us back….it’s who we think we are not!”

This quote floats by on Twitter occasionally. I liked it so well the first time I saw it, I wrote it down on a post- it note and put it at eye-level in front of me. Not sure who coined it, but it’s a keeper … which leads me to the topic for today. If you tuned in thinking this is a post about truth, justice and the American way, sorry to disappoint. This addresses the use of that four-letter word “JUST”.

I belong to four professional career organizations and read each of their online discussion groups daily. The career industry is incredibly collegial, collaborative and giving. I’ve learned a great deal about resume writing, business, technology and everything related to entrepreneurship and managing clients from my colleagues. They’re wise and generous in their sharing and have the credentials, education and training to back their wisdom. They write eloquent, insightful responses to questions about myriad topics and have, on more than one occasion, helped me personally with business, client or technical issues. And I’m not talking “140-character” short responses. I’m talking long answers with references, links personal experiences and information that never even occurred to me before they shared. Judging by the sheer length and breadth of the response, these elist posts must take hours to write. The author will sign with their “canned” signature (like we all do) listing degrees, credentials, publications and other honors. But wait, what’s that at the end of the post, right before the signature listing out these accomplishments?

“Just my $.02“

What?????? You spent three hours researching and replying with brilliance, signed with a laundry list of highly regarded credentials and you diminish all that with “Just my $.02″???(Or something equally apologetic.)

I run into the same thing with my clients. They describe amazing career feats, where they “moved the mountain to Mohammed” on a daily basis, and in response to my, “Wow. Really? Tell me more…” they respond with the verbal equivalent of kicking the ground, head down and uncomfortable, “I was ‘just’ doing my job.”

I wrote for a client a while back. She worked in a busy municipal court office. People went there to pay fines, fees, gather court information … you name it. She helped, in person and on the phone, probably 100 people a day, every day. Do the math … 100 people in an eight hour day, means interacting with an average of one person every five minutes. And these weren’t “where are the coffee filters” kind of interactions. This was responding to a broad spectrum of people from all walks of life in regards to legal issues. When I wrote her resume, I bulleted the information regarding her prowess in keeping a service line moving, while still giving the information needed and keeping order in the office. She called after I delivered. That call went something like this:

Client: “Resume looks good, but I’d always read you only bulleted important things.”
Me: “Yes. That’s true. Why do you ask?”
C: “Well, I don’t think the part about me helping 100 people a day is that big a deal. Everyone was expected to do that, so it’s not that special.”
M: “Really? You don’t think an ability to keep a line moving, respond to requests and do it quickly and efficiently is a marketable skill, deserving of being highlighted?”
C: “Ah no. Like I said. Everyone in that office is expected to operate at that level of efficiency.”
M: “In that office … but have you ever been anywhere where simple questions took forever to be handled? Lines moved at glacial speed and you knew there was a better way to manage the process.”
C: “Well … ya.”
M: “And you don’t think a manager would jump at the opportunity to find someone like you, able to move a line and provide customer delight, quickly, efficiently? You don’t see that as a marketable skill?”

Suddenly the light went on. I’d managed to remove the “just my job” blinders and helped her dig down and realize her career wonderfulness. She emailed less than a month later telling me about her new job. She made my heart sing with the following: “I want to thank you for all you have done for me. It was your magic words that caught their attention.” My “magic words” properly conveyed the value she brought to an employer. Something she couldn’t do because she was caught up in her “just my job” thinking.

Many years ago, during a time when my first marriage was disintegrating and self-esteem was at a low point, I went to pull a file from a cabinet near a coworker’s desk. He was head-down engrossed in a project and I startled him when I opened the drawer. Seeing him start, I smiled and said, “Relax. It’s just me.” He paused, then said, “Dawn. There is no such thing as “just you.” If you asked him about it today, he probably doesn’t even remember the exchange. I’ve never forgotten the impact of that simple, yet powerful statement at such a low point in my life. It was the reminder I needed to help me realize I was special and had good things to offer; in spite of what my now ex-husband kept telling me.

Today, right now, I challenge you to take the word “just” out of your vocabulary when it pertains to you or something you do. If you don’t see your own wonderfulness or the importance of what you do in contributing to the bottom line, how will you ever convey your value to a potential employer?

If you “just” walked in the door, that’s one thing. If you think you “just” move mountains, then change your perspective.

Hmmm. This is a post about justice … justice and fairness in the treatment of yourself.